Draco's Failing Sanity
by Atilla-the-Honey
Summary: With full candypink lips, long eyelashes that any girl would die for, and emerald eyes that you could lose yourself in, Harry Potter was truly a masterpiece.
1. In which the scene is set

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy. (but dear, God I wish I did!) I make no profit whatsoever and do this purely for fun.   
Warnings: This is SLASH people, as in male/male relationships, guys perving on guys, guys KISSING guys. 'Kay? Don't flame me, you have been sufficiently warned!

**READ**: In My Harry Potter universe, Voldemort was defeated by Harry when he was in 6th year, Sirius never died in book 5, Sirius and Remus are TOGETHER (or are going to get together) Blaise fancies Hermione, and him and Pansy are Draco's best friends. Lucius is locked away in Azkaban, Narcissa is NICE and YES men can get pregnant!

And it's up to you people:

Is Ron evil? I would like to make him betray Harry, possibly a Homophobe? But I want a few of the weasley's Ginny! to be on harry's side. But it's up to you!

And have Millicent and Pansy as a couple. I read in one fanfic and liked the idea. It's better than her drooling over Draco. But if you want I'll make her the evil pug-faced Bitxh!

Harry James Potter absentmindedly strolled down a corridor on his way to Transfiguration, oblivious to the swooning girls and drooling guys falling at his feet. He twirled a stray lock of hair and gave a small sigh, causing a few first year Hufflepuffs to get nosebleeds.

With full candy-pink lips, long eyelashes that any girl would die for, and emerald eyes that you could lose yourself in, he was truly a masterpiece. How had this amazing transformation come about you ask? Well after Harry had moved out of his so-called family's house and moved in with Sirius he had been forced to eat a lot more than what he usually did, and finally with the proper diet all his Quidditch training had paid off!

The skinny little body from before had turned into a lithe, golden-brown, drool-worthy body, and he had grown a few inches, and now stood at 5 foot 9. And while this was good news, it still irked Harry to know that thanks to the Dursley's neglect his growth had been permanently stunted.

Harry had then swapped his large, plastic glasses for magical contact lenses (at Hermione's insistence) and grew his hair long, claiming the weight helped control it more. Well most of the time…

Walking with him was his best friend Hermione Granger. 5 foot 10 she had had filled out and now had curves in all the right places. Her frizzy hair was now glossy mouse brown curls down to mid back, complimenting her honey coloured eyes. Her looks had attracted the attention of many a suitor, but she had turned them all down saying that she had no time for a relationship: 'NEWTS are this year, Harry. In fact you _really _need to stop lazing around and get studying…'

But back to The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Save-The-World. He had looks, fame, fortune and a great personality, and was there fore one of the two most desired guys at Hogwarts.

And the other eligible bachelor… (AN: Who could that be?) was Draco Malfoy.

The ice prince of Slytherin's looks had only improved with time, he was 6 foot 1and had perfectly pale skin, luscious platinum blonde hair, and eyes as silver and deadly as Mercury. A Quidditch-toned body and sexy smirk completed his Bad-boy look, that and his well known reputation as the Slytherin Sex God.

Both popular, both unattached, and both sexy as hell…what is to become of our two favourite guys?

The characters have been introduced and the scene is a Slytherin-Gryffindor Transfiguration lesson late one Thursday afternoon…

It involves Harry Potter and a sugar-coated quill, and Draco Malfoy's Epiphany.

REVIEW! (please?) OTHERWISE I WON'T CONTINUE THE STORY!


	2. In which Ron is a bastard, Harry is hot ...

Disclaimer same as last Chapter people. No flames! This is slash! I love my reviewers!

taylorleighyoung Rin101 forestofgreenjello Elektra107 loonyluna9 SemmaFan

vote-larry4prez labarynth-mind!

You guys rock! Especially Elektra! And Labarynth, you have any winkwink type ideas feel free to tell me! I'll take all the ideas and tips I can get!

Chapter 2:

Draco Malfoy sat in his usual place down the back of the classroom, seated between his best friend Blaise Zambini, and unfortunately, Pansy Parkinson.

Blaise was a feisty, Italian, pureblooded wizard who was…shall we say…promiscuous. With skin that could only be described as mocha, he had dark brooding features and laughing, coffee-coloured eyes. He'd slept with most of the school (male, female, Professors…) but was yet to 'commit' himself to a relationship. He went through relationships like Dumbledore went through lemon drops, and was proud of it, thank you very much! Though Blaise seemed to have no real interest in anyone except for sex, there _was _a certain Gryffindor that had caught his eye…

Pansy Parkinson a.k.a Pugface Parkinson _or _Pugfaced bitch, followed Draco Malfoy around like a little pug faced puppy. A lovesick one. Pansy was 5 foot 9 and had very pale skin. She had dark, sapphire blue eyes and of course her famous nose. While it _was _rather…upturned…Pansy's nose was far from as deformed as others made it out to be. It was more her whiny, petulant, squealing attitude that made her so unpopular. Except to one individual, but you'll find out about that later!

Set on marrying her 'true love' a.k.a 'Drakey-poo, Drakey-kins or My sexy wittle dwagon!' Pansy trailed around after Draco like his shadow, and made sure that everyone else knew that he was _her _property, and how _thrilled _their parents were that her and Draco were going to get married _as soon _as the year was over.

Yeah right, over Draco Malfoy's dead body!

Pansy flipped her hair and squinted her eyes at Draco in a way that (she thought) made them smolder, but stopped half way to sneer as the Wonder-boy and Book-worm entered the Transfiguration classroom.

Hermione cast a worried look at her friend as he began to set out his parchment and ink, before sitting down at her own desk. She knew something was wrong, and knew she was probably the only person who realized, and she had a pretty good idea what it could be. While on the outside Harry may have appeared to be his usual calm and quiet self, his eyes though still beautiful, were dulled and held a depressed, defeated look that you would only be able to see if you knew Harry well and studied him closely.

Harry heaved a small sigh as he began to take down some notes on transfiguring a mitten into a kitten. Again and again the train-ride to Hogwarts replayed in his mind…

Harry finally managed to push off an overbearing, bouncing Godfather and give a lopsided grin to Remus before dragging his trunk onto the Hogwarts Express. With the last cries of, "-and if that sniveling greasy BAT gives you ANY trouble, you owl me RIGHT AWAY and I'll come straight there and hang him from the Astronomy Tower by his ba- " faded away into the distance he knocked on the door to the Golden Trio's regular compartment. In there were his two best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, the latter immediately propelling herself at him when he walked through the door. 'Mate!' Ron grinned as he clapped Harry on the back, and laughed as Harry pulled a sour face and groaned. "Mione! I can't breathe…"

Hermione blushed and let go of Harry, grinning sheepishly she defended herself, "Well we haven't seen you for ages! And you look so good, _healthy, _and I see Sirius made you throw out those _awful _hand-me-downs. In fact…wow, Harry! You look great!" Both Ron and Harry rolled their eyes and the brunette's over-enthusiastic babble. "But she is right though mate, you look way better…less scrawny 'n' stuff!" Harry snorted at Ron's awkward compliment, and then made himself comfortable on one of the seats.

Truth was, Harry was pretty nervous because he had a secret he wanted to tell them, but wasn't sure how to go about. Over the summer he had come to terms with the fact that yes, he was gay, and no it wasn't about to change anytime soon. Not being able to bear lying to his guardians whenever they asked which girl he fancied at school, only to find that _both _Sirius and Remus were both gay, and dating each other! Both of them had been thrilled when they found out, and Sirius had then proceeded to tease Harry mercilessly whenever he could. (Which was whenever Remus wasn't watching!)

As well as telling his guardians about his sexuality Harry also had summed up all his Gryffindor bravery and told Ginny as well. The fiery red-head and him had been corresponding through all the holidays, after forming a firm friendship the year before. It was late one night when Ginny had woken up from a nightmare involving Tom Riddle and The Chamber of Secrets. She had gone down to the common room and sat crying silently in one of the armchairs in front of the fire when Harry, who was sneaking down to the kitchens for a midnight snack had heard her. They'd talked until dawn, finding that they shared a bond in the fact that both knew what it was like to have a connection with Voldemort. Harry was scared that Voldemort would use their connection to his advantage in the final battle, causing more innocent people to die. Ginny feared that her narrow-minded family would find out about how connected she had really been with Tom, and realizing that she was 'tainted' with darkness would reject her like they did with anyone or anything that disagreed with their perfect world.

Ginny had just sent back an owl telling him it was about time he told her, and when could she start to set him up with some of her male friends!

It was Ron Harry was worried about. Hermione has always been very understanding, and if Ginny had already suspected Harry was less-than-straight, then the brainy Gryffindor-ette would _definitely _have realized something was up.

Ron on the other hand believed the world was black and white. You were either good or evil, light or dark, all Slytherins were evil, all Gryffindors were noble and brave. Girls liked boys, and boys liked girls. Harry felt his stomach do acrobatic flips when he remembered the incident halfway through last year…

Harry and Ron walked back laughing from Quidditch training, while Hermione clucked her tongue at their dirty uniform and disheveled appearance. Training had ended early, (much to the two's delight) due to the Slytherin's double-booking the pitch. Hooch had intervened before the fighting between the two captains had become _too _bad, making the compromise that they would split the time to use the pitch, both teams having half trainings. So both of the Quidditch players walked into their dorm room to get a fresh change of clothes, only to find Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas intertwined on Seamus' bed, kissing passionately.

Ron gagged and went an unattractive shade of sickly grey, Harry blanched, and his jaw dropped. Seamus and Dean carried on their display, unaware of the two spectators until…

"Oh my God! You're _Fags!_" The two boys broke apart and stared at Harry and Ron in horror. "Ron..." Seamus began, "SHUT UP QUEER! You're sick…Fuck! You've probably been fantasizing about me…we've been sharing a fucking cabin!" Dean looked like he was on the verge of tears and got off the bed. "Ron, it's not like that, we love each other!" He reached out for Ron only to have him flinch back as if he'd been struck. Desperately he turned to Harry, "Harry, please…"

"Fuck you Faggots!" Ron interrupted him with a sneer, and he backed out the door. "I'll leave you two fairies, wait until everyone else hears…" His mutterings were lost as he run out the door and down into the common room, but it sound something like, "Fucking flamers…" Seamus walked forward to console a crushed Dean who then looked up resignedly to Harry. "Well?" "I…" Harry walked forward and placed a hand gently on Dean's shoulder. "If, if you're in love…I mean…I'm happy for you." Seamus smiled in relief and murmured a "Thank you" Before Harry walked out of the dorm.

After a lot of begging and reasoning on Harry and Hermione's part, Ron didn't make and more rude comments to Seamus and Dean about their relationship, but that didn't stop him from sending them nasty looks and doing things like 'accidentally' tripping them over, knocking their books off their tables, etcetera.

Harry shook these thoughts from his mind and wiped his sweaty palms on his robes. This was Ron he was talking about! The guy he considered a brother, who had been with him through thick and thin…_except fourth year. He was so jealous…yelling at you, sneering and ignoring you! _A nasty voice in the back of his mind said. Harry blocked these thoughts. Ron had apologized for that anyway, that didn't matter anymore…

"Ron, Mione?" Harry quietly interrupted the two who had been arguing about the importance of Ancient Runes. "It's a _fascinating _subject Ron, and compared to studies like _Divination _which is utter rubbish..."

"Yeah?" Ron asked. Harry shifted uncomfortably, "There's something I've been wanting to tell you guys for a while, but I wasn't sure how…" Hermione leaned forward with a concerned look, Ron looked wary, _another _secret? "I'm gay." Harry blurted out.

Hermione looked relieved and let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, nothing to worry about at all! She sent a warm smile to Harry who instantly looked reassured. Ron on the other hand…

He first went pale, then slowly the colour came back to his cheeks. The colour then became darker, and darker, then spread to his ears. Then, he exploded.

"WHAT!" Ron bellowed. "_YOU'RE _A FAG TOO?" Harry felt his heart clench as Ron continued to vent his anger, using every expletive and derogatory term he knew.

Hermione felt a wave of white, dizzying shock pulse through out her body, her mouth open in the shape of an 'O'. Slowly she watched as the dream she had of her and Ron together, of her falling _in love _with that _bastard _was torn into tatters.

Then, there was more anger. _Her _anger.

Hermione looked over at the devastated look on Harry's face and felt rage begin to bubble inside her. Ron suddenly grabbed Harry by the collar of his shirt and the last of Hermione's resolve broke, and Ronald Billius Weasley felt the wrath of one Hermione Elizabeth Granger.

She rocked the Hogwarts Express!

"RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY! YOU BASTARD! AFTER ALL HARRY'S DONE FOR YOU, YOU INSENSITIVE PRAT! YOU UTTER GIT! YOU GET OUT OF HER AND NEVER, _EVER _SPEAK TO ME OR HARRY EVER AGAIN!"

It was also the only time recorded in history when Hermione Elizabeth Granger swore.

So there you go! The historical moment in history when the Golden Trio became no more, and Ron Weasley showed his true colours.

And _that's _what Harry couldn't get out of his head. That is, until Seamus rushed in _just _in time with an armful of Sugar Quills for some of the Gryffindors. Now if there's _one _thing you should know about is that Harry Potter _loves _Sugar Quills. Really. They just send lovely chills down his spine, the sugary goodness of it all is purely _Orgasmic! _

(Now if I was a MEAN author I could end it there…my hand does hurt an awful lot…Aw hell, might as well finish it! But I expect a LOT of reviews!)

Draco Malfoy blew a stray bit of hair out of his eyes and looked about the room. He was _bored. _There was nothing in the room that was of the _slightest _bit of inter- Draco's stomach gave a bit of a jolt as he watched opened-mouthed as Harry Potter did…did…_unmentionable _things with a sugar quill!

Draco watched as Harry licked lightly up the quill s l o w l y, excruciatingly slowly, and as he closed his eyes in pleasure at the sugary taste. The Slytherin looked away quickly and tried to rid his mind of these thoughts. He was a Slytherin, a Malfoy, and gay, but that did not mean he would suddenly start having lustful thoughts of the Hogwarts Wonder-boy! Slowly Draco's head turned back to watch Harry aain, after all it's not like he _actually _fancied the Gryfinndor so there was no harm in just watching…right?

Draco stifled a small groan as Harry began to wrap his tongue around the quill, and watched as Harry gave a small moan, sucking on the sugar quill in a way that made Draco rather hot and bothered.

Our favourite brunette hero began a tantalizing dance with his tongue, nipping, sucking, biting and licking his way up and down the Honeyduke's product, until there was none of the lolly left.

Draco, much to his horror, had found himself getting increasingly aroused through out this display and whimpered ever so quietly as Harry began to lick each of his fingers slowly, one-by-one trying to get every last bit of sugar.

Draco had an epiphany that class, a very important one, in fact not just one, a few.

Harry Potter, hero of the wizarding world and Dumbledore's Golden boy, was _hot. _Scratch that, he was _very _hot. Long, silky black hair, tanned skin the colour of honey, the most beautiful eyes imaginable…and those lips…and that _tongue! _Draco shuddered. Better not to think of Harry's tongue at the moment. Woah, wait! _Harry? HARRY! _Since when was it _Harry? _Draco felt a head ache coming on.

Harry Potter his worst enemy, arch rival and ultimate nemesis was _HOT._

Draco for some unkown reason kept on referring to said Hottie by first name.

Draco…er…had a _thing_…maybe…for a certain Gryffindor

The said Gryffindor hated his guts, as Draco had made his life living Hell for the past few years.

It was late Thursday, he was in Transfiguration and had a Potions class next WITH a certain sexy hero-of-the-wizarding-world, and he had a certain…ummm…_problem _that needed _immediate _attention.

Thank God for loose Robes!

Little did Draco know that Harry's indecent display with his Sugar quill was watched with another set of desire filled eyes…

REVIEW my pretties, review! I reckon if I get as many as oh…7 -10 new reviews I may just right another awesome chapter! And…

It's up to you, who do you want to be lusting after Harry too?

Random creepy Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff

Professor Snape!

Mc Gonnagle!

_Dumbledore!_

New defence teacher? male of female?

Flint? he's a slytherin

Theodore Nott?

Lavender Brown!

Help me people, I beg! I _will _listen to you! I really want you guys to like my story!


	3. In which Draco is mad and DADA run by a ...

Disclaimer: Same as per usual…

My reviewers have spoken…though u seemed 2 want Theodore Nott, Blaise And DADA teacher…-Drumrolls- I have decided on these pairings:

Harry/Draco (duh!) eventual Pansy/Millicent, Blaise/Hermione, Seamus/Dean, and will have Draco being jealous of a slutty female DADA teacher during class, then I think Theodore Nott should…HAH! I'm not gonna tell you! But he'll come in later…-Coughcrazedstalkercough-

moonrawen Chippy Zuri Aussie Trebs skittles-07 ann Krystina labarynth-mind vote-larry4prez Earthwytch Elektra107

I LUV U!

I send u a cyber-hug of Gratefulness

And sorry about the Hermione name thing, but names can be confusing. Some fic writers say stuff like Ginevra Weasley, Ginger Weasly blah blah blah…oh well, thanks anywho! Nice to know you're paying attention.

Man my eyes hurt…sooo…sleepy…zzzzz…

Harry groaned as he made his way to DADA first thing on a Monday morning. This year Defence had been slowly becoming Harry's _least _favourite subject. Hermione had badgered Harry about his lack of enthusiasm towards his once favourite class, but the emerald eyed boy was always at a loss for an answer.

Something about Professor Desdomona wasn't quite…right.

For one thing, due to his childhood Harry wasn't used to a lot of physical affection, and Professor Desdomona was very…_very _affectionate. Almost disturbingly in fact.

She even _talked _strangely, she almost…purred…rolling the 'R's a lot more than necessary. The other boys in Gryffindor said it was hot, Harry said it was irritating.

Well, how was he supposed to concentrate with his defence teacher _purring _in his ear?

Harry and Hermione sat at their regular desks near the windows overlooking the Quidditch pitch, and began to set up for the lesson. Half the class jumped in fright as Professor Desdomona knocked the doors open with great force, and strode down to the front of the class. A skin-tight black halter neck dress clung to her…curvaceous…body, barely hidden by a set of matching black wizarding robes. She wore strappy black stilettos that were ludicrously high-heeled for walking castle corridors, and had copious amount of face powder and blood red lipstick, and she also had enough eye-liner to put those ancient Egyptians to shame.

"Helloooo classs…" Their professor greeted in a caressing tone, "Today I will be demonstrrrrating the more –pause- _physical _side of defence…"she trailed of with a wicked grin. "A volunteerrrr and myself will display some self-defence techniques you can use if everrrr you find yourrrrsssselfff withour yourrr wand…Harry!" She barked suddenly, the saviour of the wizarding world snapped to attention. "If _you _would be so kind as to be my demonstration -pause- _partner…_"

Harry groaned inwardly, while multiple other boys groaned outwardly, what they wouldn't do to get up and close with _that! _Meanwhile several members of the H.P.F.C (Harry Potter Fan Club) had faces of utter outrage. How dare that…that…_that…TRAMP _dare tothink she's good enough for _their_ Harry! They certainly weren't alone in thinking that…

Draco gave a quiet murmur as he stretched a little, a devious smirk appeared on his all-too angelic face as his eyes cracked open.

After his recent…discoveries during a certain Transfiguration lesson he had spent a good few days just thinking, and had come to the conclusion that Harrison (AN: NOT Harold) James Potter was HIS.

The smirk widened.

After finalising that this was no everyday run-of-the-mill crush that was purely based on lustful thoughts, he had accepted that he, Draconian Lucifer Malfoy truled lo-LIKED the Wonder-boy.

And said Wonder-boy was HIS.

Malfoy's don't share, never have, never will.

After all, his Harry _was _perfect, and didn't all Malfoy's strive for, and didn't he _deserve, _perfection?

Famous, rich, popular, _utterly _EDIBLE, and so…_nice_…and…**cute**…

Yup, he was HIS!

Now, all he had to take care of was fan-girls and boys, win over Granger, convince Mother, Severus, Blaise and the rest of the Slytherins he wasn't bonkers…then take care of that snivelling, worthless, _penniless, _tasteless, classless, low life, piece of shit, **Weasel.**

_**….**best to start winning over the gorgeous brunette now. What class did he have fir- Oh God. God, God, God…DADA, with that skanky slut-faced HOE-BAG Desdomona!_

Draco's silver eyes turned stormy and cold as he remembered all his past defence lessons…that Prostitute-turned-Professor whispering seductively in _his _Harry's ear…pushing her hideously over-sized cleavage practically into _his _Harry's beautiful face…_stroking HIS _Harry's shoulder or back when he answered any question correctly…that…_that…**that…DISGUSTING MOLESTING BITCH!**_

His fists clenched his bed sheets tightly and he ground his teeth, trying to suppress his fury. Taking shuddering breaths he calmed down, then made a silent oath to himself that he _would _get his Harry, and protect him from the clutches of evil, conniving paedophilic Professors.

After all…Malfoy's don't share!

REVIEW!PLEASE!NOW!

Sorry it's so short darlings, but this is done in the dark late at night…I wrote again so soon because I read all your reviews and they filled me with happiness and inspiration, I wasn't actually going to update until next week...so you owe me!

People, tell me…

Who should Ginny end up with…

And I like Christina's idea of a Transvestite Neville…

What says you?

(did I thank Christina for her fab review, I don't remember!)

And do you guys LIKE or NOT-LIKE Sirius/Remus m-preg or not?

Review!


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